What a Fool Believes (in Dating, Part 1)

A fool in love. We have all seen it and experienced it. There is even an entire movie channel dedicated to just that. This channel’s genre is devoted to following a person’s extreme circumstances that end in committed love by overcoming their fear or circumstances of something to win the devoted affection of another.
In real life, we do all act foolishly when it comes to love. However, the result is rarely the movie channel version, but rather the Doobie Brother’s song, What a Fool Believes. Having foolish beliefs and actions often becomes the lesson we need to move us forward. Otherwise, how would have Michael McDonald and Kenny Loggins wrote about it. However, so many of us let our brains live there, in Foolsville.

To help you recognize a few signs that your brain is considering residency, here are six everyday things that fools in love believe.

  1. I can change him (or her).
  2. Love is enough to get us through.
  3. I can fix the circumstances, and then it will be ok.
  4. If I hang in there long enough (aka waiting), it will work out in my favor.
  5. Wanting a different ending will result in my ability to manifest one.
  6. This situation is unique, and it is complicated and different than what anyone else’s heart has ever survived. No one truly understands. (FYI – this can’t be true if the Doobie Brothers wrote about it.)
These expressions are all the same version of I cannot let go of my fantasy life with a specific individual. But, having the strength and know-how and when to have that commitment conversation or walk away will give you the nerve to keep moving life forward. Forward to someone you may not even know exists yet.
Dating takes perseverance and courage to face the unknown. Get the support you deserve by working with a professional coach. (Don’t forget to read Part 2!)
Cover illustration by Margaux Stewart.