You can meet single people everywhere you go. They are absolutely everywhere. So, finding love is also possible everywhere. Personally, I have met and flirted my way into a conversation from the airport, a variety of restaurants, and the bookstore. I know someone who met and married someone she met at a dog’s birthday party. So, while single people are everywhere, they do seem to be a little elusive. Add in a global pandemic, working from home, and an inattentive masked public, and online seems to be the most direct route for meeting single people. So why question it?
The undesirable behaviors you find online are abundant.
- Love bombing
- Scams and robots
- Pictures that you DID NOT ask for (rolling my eyes)
At times it feels like heartbreak waiting to happen. So it is worth it? Why continue putting yourself out there?
Why It’s Worth It
My answer is that it is worth it if you meet people you can date and ultimately if you meet someone worthy of your love. I met my love after two years online. (Two Years of craziness!) It was unexpected as I had lost so many times before. An algorithm did not unite us. My open-minded search did.
The secret to successful online dating is timing and perseverance. No matter how you meet someone, you must both be single at the same time. That may or may not be true when flirting over the blueberries at the supermarket. Technically, new potential partners, who proclaim to be single, appear on dating sites every day. These people are asking you to reach out, where the intent of people in the supermarket is not clear.
Additionally, it always seems like a narrow window when you meet someone. When you look at the timing, it feels like the universe moved so your hearts could join together. A moment on either side of single and you would not have met. Meeting someone happens in a moment. You must be ready for the moment.
Some good-faith effort is required. Spending all your free time on a dating site is unnecessary, but you must visit it, and you must be active. Many of the men and women (mostly women) I have talked to who create a dating profile will later claim it didn’t work. They become disillusioned by online dating. Giving up is easy if expectations, values, and know-how are out of whack. A profile must represent the best of you. This means the pictures are representative and tasteful and that you are also taking chances and reaching out appropriately, not just waiting for someone to happen.
Perseverance is the second part of the secret. Forcing a connection will backfire. I feel like this is just another way to say you need to kiss a lot of frogs. If you want an authentic love connection, you must travel your love journey. There are no shortcuts. Reach out, meet people, and move on.
There is also an element of know-how attached to being able to hang in there. If you believe you have a real chance with someone you are chatting with and they ghost you two weeks later, it can be painful. If you expect nothing when messaging except a good chat, the potential to move forward also diminishes. Balance with your values and expectations keeps you connecting with real people.
If you are actively looking for someone to share your life with, multiple lines of connection into your dating pool is the ideal way to achieve that. Keep an open mind for meeting someone online or at the airport. And if you get invited to a dog’s birthday party, do not question it- get dressed and go!
How you meet someone (the manner you connect) is irrelevant. So, ditch the online dating is for the desperate stigma, learn how to only connect with those with whom you share your values and expectations, and lastly persevere through it all. Online dating matches people that would have never met under other circumstances. So yes, online dating is worth it.
If you are not getting the results you are looking for Let’s use a successful strategy.